I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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