I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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