I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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