So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
