I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
