We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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