I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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