I should be sponsored by Trojan
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
