theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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