if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i believe in u and ur pee
Panties = found
Randomize
