my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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