Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
