Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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