So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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