I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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