Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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