i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
