Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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