We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
