I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
