Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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