i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
