My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
