he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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