yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize