oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
