I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
