my sisters under your porch take her home
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
