maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
