Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
