it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
