i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
