Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
