38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
