jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's rum buckets o'clock
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
