i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
