My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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