I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
