Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dicks are not precious.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize