After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
