If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
