Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
