Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
