Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
