If that was your dad, he is hot
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
