Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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