Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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