i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize