i permit you to call me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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