My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize