yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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