adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
