I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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