I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pants are for mortals
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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