you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize