You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
