We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
