Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
pray to the hookup gods
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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