And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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