does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
